This example is used with the permission of Mr. Phillip Meyers. We are grateful to Phil for allowing us to share this example with you. It represents a well written and carefully reasoned final self-analysis. In particular, please note how Phil has integrated relevant course material in to his analysis. Please recognize that certain limitations of the Internet prevent us from producing the paper exactly as it should appear for submission to your instructor. Check your Style Manual for specific directions and models. For example, your paper must be double spaced.
My Final Speech
External Speech Analysis of Louis Moreno
Upon comparison of my final speech to my first speech, I found some very nice things happening. A significant accomplishment or area of improvement would have to be that of my gesturing. In my first speech, my hands stayed behind my back the entire time. Although I looked like a respectable citizen, I did not have the gestures to “help clarify or reinforce my ideas” (Lucas 306). The gestures used in my final speech were more abundant, and actually did help to reinforce my ideas.
When looking at the video of my final speech, I tried to identify the different qualities of a good introduction. I think I did pretty well. I gained the attention of my audience by using multiple strategies. I used expert testimony with the quotations, there were some rhetorical questions, and there was that sense of curiosity—just like in my first speech. The expert testimony showed that I was prepared and established my credibility and goodwill. The topic of my speech was revealed, and I previewed the body of the speech by stating the main points in a declarative sentence.
The conclusion was a little rough, but I did manage to signal closure without the use of the phrase “in conclusion.” I reinforced the central idea statement by summarizing the main points of the speech, and gave a call to action to my audience. Specifically, I asked that “all things that can be recycled, should be recycled” (Myers). I realize now that this is a problem of efficacy. Parallel construction would have been a good thing to do, also. I could have ended with some quotes about the future, or something like that. Another good point in my conclusion would have to be my use of a “dissolve ending” (Lucas 236). I feel my last sentence, with the pauses, sincerity, and my Rod Sterling voice, gave my speech a positive perception.
My use of supporting material in my presentation was done pretty well. Upon watching the video, I could clearly tell each and every single time a new source was introduced. Of those sources, I (the viewer) was told who said this, who that person was, and when they said what they did before the material was presented. Every time a new topic of interest was introduced to the audience, supporting material was presented. For example, before I showed the charts and graphs, I clearly cited where they came from and when they were published. Also, I didn’t “talk to the visual aids” (Bourhis).
Based upon my presentation in class and observation of the videotape, there are a few things I would have done differently to improve the content of the speech and its presentation. First of all, I would have practiced more. I know I used my notes quite a lot during my speech. If only I would have been more prepared, I could have used more eye contact to direct my speech to the audience. Getting away from the notes was harder to do with the final speech, because of all the technical aspects that were involved. Trying to cite five sources orally, getting the sources names and occupations stated, stating what they said or did, keeping the speech in order, etc., all in six to eight minutes…that’s pretty involved for a first year speech student to accomplish. I’m not saying that it can’t be done, but that it would take a great deal of work by the student; and that’s something that I could have done to improve.
Second of all, I would have worked on eliminating the use of the verbal pause. I thought I had it licked, but during my speech, I caught myself saying “ah” in a couple of places. When I viewed the videotape, I counted four pronounced verbal pauses. Perhaps if I would have been just a wee bit more prepared, I could have gotten rid of that pause for good.
A third thing that I could have done to improve has to do with the visual aids. I only noticed this on the videotape. I should have made the graphs a lot larger. They were probably big enough for our purposes, but the people in the back might not have been able to see them clearly. If my purpose of showing the visual aids was to gain “clarity, interest, and retention” (Lucas 316), it could have been done better by enlarging the charts.
When I look back on this semester, of all the speeches I have done, I can clearly state that my greatest strength as a public speaker has to be my voice. The first thing said after my first speech was something about my voice and how interesting it was. The same thing happened after my second speech. When my third speech came around, I used a more informal voice for talking about a consumer report. I thought a personable voice would make me seem more like a friend telling you about a product (instead of a salesman). The first thing everyone wanted to know was what happened to my radio voice. Even in the end, after the final speech, the first comments spoken were about my Twilight Zone voice.
The areas that I need to continue to improve upon are as follows: conclusion, use of verbal pause, be a better listener. As stated earlier, my conclusion was nice, but it lacked that something that could really end big. The use of parallel construction would really help my conclusions a lot, and leave my audience with a positive perception of me and my speech. That darned verbal pause is the other thing that really gets on my nerves. When I think I have it licked, it just jumps in there. I don’t know were it came from or how it got there, but now I know it’s there, and I’m going to make a better effort in eliminating it. Being a better listener is something else that I need to improve upon. I still find myself getting bored once someone begins to talk on a subject that I can care less about. With the skills learned in class this semester, at least I know how to be a better listener, even if I’m still not one.
To further develop my skills in these areas, I plan on really watching what I say and how I say it. I am really going to pay attention to my speech in normal life to see if I use the verbal pause, and how it affects my listeners. I think I can get rid of it totally by practice.
Believe it or not, I feel I have improved greatly as a public speaker because of this class. I have learned a lot of things that will help me develop my skills as a listener and public speaker. Although I don’t plan on making any more public speeches, this class taught me that one day I will be called upon to make one. And when that day comes, I will have the skills, the knowledge, and the voice to do it.
Bourhis, John. “Visual Aids.” Missouri State Department of Communication and Mass Media,
Springfield, MO. 4 November 1998.
Lucas, Stephen E. The Art of Public Speaking. 6th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1998.
Myers, Philip. “Landfill Liners.” Missouri State Communications 115—Fundamentals of Public
Speaking, Springfield, MO. 9 December 1998.
My Final Speech
External Speech Analysis of Louis Moreno
Upon comparison of my final speech to my first speech, I found some very nice things happening. A significant accomplishment or area of improvement would have to be that of my gesturing. In my first speech, my hands stayed behind my back the entire time. Although I looked like a respectable citizen, I did not have the gestures to “help clarify or reinforce my ideas” (Lucas 306). The gestures used in my final speech were more abundant, and actually did help to reinforce my ideas.
When looking at the video of my final speech, I tried to identify the different qualities of a good introduction. I think I did pretty well. I gained the attention of my audience by using multiple strategies. I used expert testimony with the quotations, there were some rhetorical questions, and there was that sense of curiosity—just like in my first speech. The expert testimony showed that I was prepared and established my credibility and goodwill. The topic of my speech was revealed, and I previewed the body of the speech by stating the main points in a declarative sentence.
The conclusion was a little rough, but I did manage to signal closure without the use of the phrase “in conclusion.” I reinforced the central idea statement by summarizing the main points of the speech, and gave a call to action to my audience. Specifically, I asked that “all things that can be recycled, should be recycled” (Myers). I realize now that this is a problem of efficacy. Parallel construction would have been a good thing to do, also. I could have ended with some quotes about the future, or something like that. Another good point in my conclusion would have to be my use of a “dissolve ending” (Lucas 236). I feel my last sentence, with the pauses, sincerity, and my Rod Sterling voice, gave my speech a positive perception.
My use of supporting material in my presentation was done pretty well. Upon watching the video, I could clearly tell each and every single time a new source was introduced. Of those sources, I (the viewer) was told who said this, who that person was, and when they said what they did before the material was presented. Every time a new topic of interest was introduced to the audience, supporting material was presented. For example, before I showed the charts and graphs, I clearly cited where they came from and when they were published. Also, I didn’t “talk to the visual aids” (Bourhis).
Based upon my presentation in class and observation of the videotape, there are a few things I would have done differently to improve the content of the speech and its presentation. First of all, I would have practiced more. I know I used my notes quite a lot during my speech. If only I would have been more prepared, I could have used more eye contact to direct my speech to the audience. Getting away from the notes was harder to do with the final speech, because of all the technical aspects that were involved. Trying to cite five sources orally, getting the sources names and occupations stated, stating what they said or did, keeping the speech in order, etc., all in six to eight minutes…that’s pretty involved for a first year speech student to accomplish. I’m not saying that it can’t be done, but that it would take a great deal of work by the student; and that’s something that I could have done to improve.
Second of all, I would have worked on eliminating the use of the verbal pause. I thought I had it licked, but during my speech, I caught myself saying “ah” in a couple of places. When I viewed the videotape, I counted four pronounced verbal pauses. Perhaps if I would have been just a wee bit more prepared, I could have gotten rid of that pause for good.
A third thing that I could have done to improve has to do with the visual aids. I only noticed this on the videotape. I should have made the graphs a lot larger. They were probably big enough for our purposes, but the people in the back might not have been able to see them clearly. If my purpose of showing the visual aids was to gain “clarity, interest, and retention” (Lucas 316), it could have been done better by enlarging the charts.
When I look back on this semester, of all the speeches I have done, I can clearly state that my greatest strength as a public speaker has to be my voice. The first thing said after my first speech was something about my voice and how interesting it was. The same thing happened after my second speech. When my third speech came around, I used a more informal voice for talking about a consumer report. I thought a personable voice would make me seem more like a friend telling you about a product (instead of a salesman). The first thing everyone wanted to know was what happened to my radio voice. Even in the end, after the final speech, the first comments spoken were about my Twilight Zone voice.
The areas that I need to continue to improve upon are as follows: conclusion, use of verbal pause, be a better listener. As stated earlier, my conclusion was nice, but it lacked that something that could really end big. The use of parallel construction would really help my conclusions a lot, and leave my audience with a positive perception of me and my speech. That darned verbal pause is the other thing that really gets on my nerves. When I think I have it licked, it just jumps in there. I don’t know were it came from or how it got there, but now I know it’s there, and I’m going to make a better effort in eliminating it. Being a better listener is something else that I need to improve upon. I still find myself getting bored once someone begins to talk on a subject that I can care less about. With the skills learned in class this semester, at least I know how to be a better listener, even if I’m still not one.
To further develop my skills in these areas, I plan on really watching what I say and how I say it. I am really going to pay attention to my speech in normal life to see if I use the verbal pause, and how it affects my listeners. I think I can get rid of it totally by practice.
Believe it or not, I feel I have improved greatly as a public speaker because of this class. I have learned a lot of things that will help me develop my skills as a listener and public speaker. Although I don’t plan on making any more public speeches, this class taught me that one day I will be called upon to make one. And when that day comes, I will have the skills, the knowledge, and the voice to do it.
Works Cited
Bourhis, John. “Visual Aids.” Missouri State Department of Communication and Mass Media,
Springfield, MO. 4 November 1998.
Lucas, Stephen E. The Art of Public Speaking. 6th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1998.
Myers, Philip. “Landfill Liners.” Missouri State Communications 115—Fundamentals of Public
Speaking, Springfield, MO. 9 December 1998.